The time of the year when you update your CVs have arrived. So here are some qualities which you have brushed every vacation but which will never be allowed to be entered on your CV. (Spoof and Humor)
. I am Nice
Crushes are like “leather jackets”. Everyone has it, be it from “Pallika Bazar” or Zara it doesn’t matter.
2 laws are always constant.
- Energy can neither be created nor destroyed but can be transformed from one form to the other. ( Avogadro)
- Crushes will reject you(includes friendzoning) by saying, “You are such a nice person” (Heart Broken Avagadro).
So, if you are ugly and still single. You must be “a nice” person.
Never at Fault
People say they break up mutual. The one getting dumped has to listen to the infamous line, “It’s not you, it’s me”.
So this accreditation should be allowed for people who have earned it through beautiful disparity.
“A faultless guy is an asset for a company”
Pros – If the company makes a faulty product which explodes. The customers would respond, “Its not you, its me who is doing it wrong”. Crisis communication solved, don’t have to pay those PRs.
In the rapid age of automation we are getting mechanized everywhere. The only art that saves humankind is the art of rolling passed down through generations.
“If I had to choose between a bulky-curled-whey protein-cum-steroid lover-gym freak and a receding hairline black suited corporate sold out with student loans in bank, I would always prefer a skinny guy who can roll good joints”.
-Anonymous Girl Confessions of Amsterdam
Pros – A good roller would keep everyone happy(literally) in the immediate environment of the company which checks the internal communication required in a company.
If you are the guy who buys the disposal glasses, runs to the wine shop because it’s going to be 10 PM (for Gujarat and Bihar – read milk shops) and cooks dinner getting high. You are already doing better than a diploma degree in skill development from IIP(A)M.
Not everyone can upload snaps on Snapchat, stories for Instagram, memes for Facebook and extra filtered photo on Instagram just to prove that you have a life. It takes real effort, wifi and Jio simcards (sim1 only).
Pros – In a world of convergence a multi-tasker would innovate new ideas like why doesn’t the Steering wheel of cars have cameras to Snapchat roads while a Punjabi song is getting played.
NOTE – The post doesn’t facilitate smoking. The scoops are intended only for humor. Cheers.