We have the largest network of Railways in the world but this is not what it looks like. The ticket situation is so bad that even Daft Punk are not Lucky enough to get one. But instead of being a cry-baby lets us re visit the train journey.
PS- Do share if you ever encountered one of them punks.
1. THE ANNOYING RETIRED VETERAN
The annoying retired uncle is the ultimate fun spoiler but a firm believer of the system. (Anyone who gets a reservation believes in the system). He begins by having dinner at 8 and announces good night by 10. If you had plans for a late night card game or even the ginger , throw the idea out on the dirty tracks.(Well not literally as you can’t open them in the Rajdhanis). The worst part (if you are on the middle berth) is the Retired Guy getting up at 5 and asking you to put down your bedding because he is finding it difficult to do ‘Anulom Bhilom’ pranayam. The next thing we hear is a Patanjali Express coming..!!!
2. THE BABY
Since Railways made the rule about forbidding the use of Curtains on 3 Tier, the hungry infants and the Lactating Blessed Moms are finding it very difficult. The babies keep crying to support their campaign against the railways for a curtain maybe. But the best part is no TOILET issue. What a win.
3. THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL UPPER BERTH
This cannot be a coincidence about beautiful girls and the upper berth connection. They usually hive on the upper berth, eat, do some Lappy’ing and would use the toilet once making the entire berth known while she ramp walks to the toilet. Much like in the Cannes Festival.
Turn off – I just imagined Aishwarya Rai with Abhishek Bachchan in Cannes.
4. The WAIT-LISTED GUY
This guy would spy on to every possible seat available in the compartment. They wear an invisibility cloak of friendliness to patronize people and try to stay out of sight from the TT as compared to the RAC guy who hates his berth sharing partner and bribes the TT to get a seat before the opponent does. Let us begin the Train Games.
5. THE SKEPTICAL MOTHER
The most nervous person will always be a mother travelling with her kids going to her husband’s place. She becomes dubious of everyone and pitches that ‘Mother India’ looks if anybody tries to talk with her kids. She stays whole night awake and keeps an Eagle eye on every passerby. The only positive thing is that your luggage is safe (if you travel in the same compartment).
Here is what they say when you give the extra eclairs to a little kid with a weirdo smile.
So much for a Thank You Uncle. 😦
6. THE VENDORS
(i) Well, if you are travelling in a normal sleeper get ready for some real market action. From Chinese Testers to Handicams they can sell you anything(and he is not an MBA from IIPM) and we are compelled to buy stuffs which we would never use in our life. For example the set of Japanese fans you thought would be useful when there will no electricity.
(ii) For people travelling by AC 3/2 tier they don’t encounter such vendors but have to face the lazy workers who serve stale food at an extremely slow pace and demand tips as if it is their birth right.
7. THE JUSTIFICATION GUY
This guy would lament about the pathetic condition of Railways and would mock the entire system. He would give reasons for travelling in Train as he has missed his flight or the tickets were not available. In reality, he could not afford the exorbitant price of the Airlines and preferred the Last Resort over The Quality Resort. TYPICAL INDIAN. CHEAP YET CLASSY.
And we are like
NOTE – A great man once said, “God cannot be everywhere and so he made Indian Railways.