7 Different People You Encounter on a Train Journey

We have the largest network of Railways in the world but this is not what it looks like. The ticket situation is so bad that even Daft Punk are not Lucky enough to get one. But instead of being a cry-baby lets us re visit the train journey.

PS- Do share if you ever encountered one of them punks.

1. THE ANNOYING RETIRED VETERAN

The annoying retired uncle is the ultimate fun spoiler but a firm believer of the system. (Anyone who gets a reservation believes in the system). He begins by having dinner at 8 and announces good night by 10. If you had plans for a late night card game or even the ginger , throw the idea out on the dirty tracks.(Well not literally as you can’t open them in the Rajdhanis). The worst part (if you are on the middle berth) is the Retired Guy getting up at 5 and asking you to put down your bedding because he is finding it difficult to do ‘Anulom Bhilom’ pranayam. The next thing we hear is a Patanjali Express coming..!!!

WHaatt??

ref - Denethor LOTR Dialogue

ref – Denethor LOTR Dialogue

2. THE BABY

Since Railways made the rule about forbidding the use of Curtains on 3 Tier, the hungry infants and the Lactating Blessed Moms are finding it very difficult. The babies keep crying to support their campaign against the railways  for a curtain maybe. But the best part is no TOILET issue. What a win.

BABY

3. THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL UPPER BERTH

This cannot be a coincidence about beautiful girls and the upper berth connection. They usually hive on the upper berth, eat, do some Lappy’ing and would use the toilet once making the entire berth  known while she ramp walks to the toilet. Much like in the Cannes Festival.

Turn off – I just imagined Aishwarya Rai with Abhishek Bachchan in Cannes.

girl

4. The WAIT-LISTED GUY

This guy would spy on to every possible seat available in the compartment. They wear an invisibility cloak of friendliness to patronize people and try to stay out of sight from the TT as compared to the RAC guy who hates his berth sharing partner and bribes the TT to get a seat before the opponent does. Let us begin the Train Games.

jen

5. THE SKEPTICAL MOTHER

The most nervous person will always be a mother travelling with her kids going to her husband’s place. She becomes dubious of everyone and pitches that ‘Mother India’ looks if anybody tries to talk with her kids. She stays whole night awake and keeps an Eagle eye on every passerby. The only positive thing is that your luggage is safe (if you travel in the same compartment).

Here is what they say when you give the extra eclairs to a little kid with a weirdo smile.

So much for a Thank You Uncle. 😦

IMG-20150717-WA0001

6. THE VENDORS

(i) Well, if you are travelling in a normal sleeper get ready for some real market action. From Chinese Testers to Handicams they can sell you anything(and he is not an MBA from IIPM) and we are compelled to buy stuffs which we would never use in our life. For example the set of Japanese fans you thought would be useful when there will no electricity.

(ii) For people travelling by AC 3/2 tier they don’t encounter such vendors but have to face the lazy workers who serve stale food at an extremely slow pace and demand tips as if it is their birth right.

IMG-20150717-WA0000

7. THE JUSTIFICATION GUY

This guy would lament about the pathetic condition of Railways and would mock the entire system. He would give reasons for travelling in Train as he has missed his flight or the tickets were not available. In reality, he could not afford the exorbitant price of the Airlines and preferred the Last Resort over The Quality Resort. TYPICAL INDIAN. CHEAP YET CLASSY.

And we are like

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NOTE – A great man once said, “God cannot be everywhere and so he made Indian Railways. 

LIED

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Complex Smoker

Pic taken from Oksana Vetova (facebook)

I am a big time smoker.

But you my love,

Why do you smoke?

Is it possessiveness?

or the need to grow up.

My mind deviates;

You sleeping with other guys

I know it’s kind of sad.

I trust you, not the smoke.

When you disappear

For the night sometimes.

You go out to the world,

It’s whore lotta trouble.

For you are like the smoke.

I am a male centred

I want freedom

Yet you stay with me close

When I am there to love,

Why do you smoke?

Utopia of The Spotted Mind

(c)google

(c)google

This life, one life. So chaotic? Yes it is not perfect, fuck perfection. Fuck what people think for a while. Just meditate. Not the kind where you pose and pretend not to be asleep. Meditate in your own way. Listen to a song or masturbate; anything that lets you escape the world for sometime. Since precede this silence, this singleness, a Boss would bang your door and break your peace. Till then, it’s all about you. You were there.

Is it justifiable to escape? I say it is. Because the world is ugly, you can’t choose contentment, you have to snatch it. Make it quick, the Boss comes real fast. Hse will bang your door hard, hse will make you feel guilty, and hse will make you so weak that you would cry. You can never change the Boss but you can still save yourself. Run, run away kid. Family, society and relationships? What do they give you? Love runs out faster than any other fuel. We are surrounded by selfish creatures and are manipulated through agendas. Maybe the Boss is right, it is useless to dream. It is right to be afraid, it is right to be unhappy and lament about life. Either be an escapist, dare to book a ticket to the Himalayas and stop eking through mortality. OR succumb to that old Boss and the new Boss who will continue the legacy. Sojourn this pretense, “he who says Carpe Diem and comes back home with a jute bag filled with vegetables and disappointment”. You are worse. The Boss is not the problem, your impotency is. For once be clear of these double standards. Stop saying you want space, independence, freedom and all those French movement ideals. You have watched enough movies and read ample novels. Fiction is always unreal and sliced to perfection. You are not perfect and your want for utopia is as silly as the wish to woo that crush of yours. Grow up.

As for me,

Unintentionally, I have found my silver lining and now I am armistice. To have finally seen the world after my intense travels and musings. On occasions I live with the Bosses. Paradoxical much, I do what I want against all obligations.  I have finally seen the Light. Ah, to write is to dream.

Bang!! Wait, wait, wait I hear the